Intimacy Fatigue & Returning to Love
Do you remember the natural fluidity of our souls in their divine blueprint?
How we are made for so much more intimacy and open relationship with all that is?
Open relation is organic, it is our natural state of being.
In Lemuria we were so intimate with the earth and all other beings that we didn’t even need a solid form. All things and beings were so intimately connected that we flowed together giving and receiving in complete openness.
If we were hungry a mother would feed us, or an apple would just appear in our hand. When we were tired a bed of moss would appear for us to curl up on. When we walked into the ocean we could shapeshift into a whale and go for a swim.
We were free to love every other being, there would never be a time when we became fatigued from relating intimately with others. This was our way of Being, there was no doing, only being in intimate relation with all that is.
After the fall, we began to cling to separation in order to remain in the ego and avoid death and the cycles of the earth. The kind of intimate relation that existed in Lemuria was now seen as far too dangerous, far too painful. We solidified into permanent forms and became as separate as we could.
In the consciousness of the fall, we feel safer inside these solid bodies. We chase immortality and seek to opt out of sickness, death, and the cycles of the earth. We effectively wall ourselves off from our true medicine, which is intimate relationship with all that is.
This is why, in this consciousness of separation, we become fatigued with sharing ourselves intimately with other beings, even with our beloveds. We are like the Grinch, our hearts have shrunken up and become “protected” from intimacy. When we begin to live intimately, our tiny hearts don’t have the capacity at first. It makes us tired and we become afraid and retreat back into our own shell to convince ourselves that we are still safe, still separate.
Each time we emerge again and allow the love to flow through our hearts in intimate relationships, our hearts grow a little bigger. Our capacity for intimacy becomes a little stronger. We continue this cycle of expansion into intimacy and contraction into separation until we come back into the natural state of our soul; an undeniable longing for connection with all that is, and we let ourselves have it.
Song of Sophia has been the safe container I needed to allow my heart to expand and increase in capacity to relate intimately with others and the earth. Being surrounded by other beating hearts on the same journey has given me the courage to crack my heart open again and again to let the light in and see what emerges.
Two years ago I was blessed to be on the big island of Hawaii with Song of Sophia. Our Rosemother Eliza took us to a powerful portal there we call the fairy tree. There she led us in a practice of moving through the liminal spaces to meet with the fairies and ask them what they remembered about the tree of light, what they remembered about the way we lived in Lemuria. As I opened myself to their realm, I heard them whispering ‘we remember you.’ As I met them in this place, I realized that this way of being in intimate relationship with everything is still available to me, right here and right now. My heart cracked wide open and I was with them, I was fully in unity with all that it is, no questioning, no protecting, no separation. After a few minutes, the connection closed. I felt so much grief being separated from this consciousness, I crumpled into Eliza’s lap, sobbing. It was such a sweet release letting those tears flow!
We will be making this pilgrimage to sacred sites on the big island again this December!